3 Tips How to Use Fear of Rejection to Get the Women You Want
Asking how to seduce women without getting a single rejection is like asking:
"How practise I get vitrify without exercising?"
"How can I lose weight without irresolute my lifestyle?"
"How can I get rich without doing annihilation?"
Information technology'S Impossible. You can't do ane without the other.
"Great – at present what, Dan? I don't want to be rejected!"
Yeah, who wants that? But it's impossible (and shouldn't be your goal) to never brand a mistake. I mean, Messi and Ronaldo also miss penalties from time to time…
Then, let's focus on how you can brand rejections your bitch.
In this article you'll learn…
- How to conquer your fear of rejection
- Adrenalin rush on Tenerife: My overwhelming experience at a Tony Robbins' coaching result
- Shaky knees just from the idea of approaching a woman? Practical tips I gave men in Barcelona who were plagued by fear
- Rejection = wrong pants? My extraordinary pants theory about rejection
- The 10% rule to approach women like a boss
- The unexpected reasons why she rejected you
- More insights to save you of your fear of rejection…
By the way, have yous seen my gratuitous Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
I got a text from a woman today. We've only slept together twice so far, but – no joke – it was the best sex of my life.
I didn't want to admit it to her directly, simply then she said information technology herself when nosotros were lying in bed adjacent to each other: it had also been the hottest sexual activity she had e'er had in her life.
This calendar week, I tried to call her to invite her for a walk effectually the Christmas market.
Information technology'south been a long fourth dimension since as I've been as interested in a adult female as I was in her. The sex activity was phenomenal, and I was curious if the next time would exist just as not bad.
Contrary to my expectations, I received the following bulletin today: She'due south at present meeting other men and doesn't want to continue dating me. She concluded her text with a ridiculous 'Deplorable'.
At present I just get pushed aside like goose egg ever happened between us?
'Fuck. That hurts…'
… Is what I would be writing now, if I hadn't learned early on how to get over rejection.
Yes, I get rejected sometimes.
My smart shirts, my practiced charm, my big Bambi eyes, fifty-fifty my years of work helping men become more successful with women – none of this seems to take helped…
I notwithstanding get rejected sometimes.
I would like to go even further:
It's highly likely that I get rejected past women more than ofttimes than 99.99% of all other men.
Lamentable if your worldview's collapsing right now.
I completely empathize if you lot are now thinking:
"Yes, but Dan, how can yous give me communication on how to seduce women when yous yourself are constantly getting rejected?"
Bro.
Commencement, I want to inquire y'all a question:
What 'story' practice you tell yourself when a adult female rejects you?
"This just always happens to me!"
"Women just don't notice me attractive!"
"No adult female to whom I reveal my feelings always returns them."
I won't get overly spiritual with you right now, simply endeavour to go on your inner peace similar a Shaolin monk when your next rejection occurs.
Focus for a moment on your breath, and perceive what is going on inside you.
- Do you suddenly feel the need to distract yourself?
- Do you become negative thoughts?
Focus on your body. What practise you lot feel? Don't suppress your feelings. Feel them, breathe through them and see them lose strength.
The 'shitstorm in your head' gradually becomes calmer.
And to exist realistic:
The only people on Earth who are never rejected are shut-off hermits.
I'm certain you lot have no intention of becoming one…
Overcoming fears with the coaching of Tony Robbins
A few summers agone, I was in Tenerife for a grooming session with Tony Robbins, a successful personal development omnibus in a class of his ain.
During the training, I was challenged, along with other participants, to overcome my huge fear of heights.
As soon as this claiming was appear, all of my joy regarding the seminar and, with information technology, my whole mood went south.
My fearfulness of heights is but gigantic. My easily get sweaty just thinking about heights…
The training supervisor gave us the post-obit instructions:
- Climb the steps of the 26-pes-high pile.
- Afterwards you lot take reached the top, climb onto the 16-foot-square platform.
- Bound from the platform onto the trapeze in forepart of y'all.
It may not sound like a big deal to you, only I became extremely nervous.
Yeah, of course, I was 'fused' and nothing could go wrong, but my fearfulness didn't give a damn…
So, I let 95% of the people become alee because I was already so lightheaded with fearfulness. Everything was spinning.
Unfortunately, there is no video of me. But this video is from the same event:
The difference with me was that the stake had an fifty-fifty smaller platform to stand on…
As others climbed up the pole, I was able to watch closely and detect what was probably the biggest hurdle of the claiming for everyone: The final step from the pole to the platform.
One boy with beige trousers was stuck halfway on the platform for 30 minutes because he couldn't overcome himself to climb up the platform entirely.
Whenever he tried to take the last step, fear overcame him and he became helplessly paralyzed.
I made a programme: When I took that last pace, I didn't desire to migrate off in fear. 'The last step to the platform and the bound onto the trapeze, I only do like a brainless zombie – in one movement!'
With a chirapsia heart, I went straight to the big stake.
I climbed correct upwardly. 'That's piece of cake," I idea to myself, reached the platform, and knew that there was no room for any thoughts at that place.
I climbed onto the platform.
I was at present standing upstairs and could literally feel adrenaline pumping through my trunk.
The angle at which I had to jump off in gild to become onto the platform wasn't like shooting fish in a barrel. In retrospect, I accept no idea how I managed it either. It all happened in one movement.
I focused briefly on the trapeze in front end of me, leaned forward, and jumped…
I had done it. My easily actually closed around the trapeze.
And I was damn proud of myself.
How you should NEVER approach women
This January, I was in Barcelona for our Kick-Off Bootcamp.
Together with my bootcamp educatee, I approached women in the club Opium.
This is one of those not uncommon clubs where female person models almost never have to pay.
Every solar day, dozens of dressed-up ladies arrive around 7 o'clock in the evening for the doors of the club to open. All models can drink there for complimentary as long as they have been invited by a promoter.
They don't pay a penny for the rest of their evening either: Men from the VIP areas give them all the drinks they want.
These clubs have extremely unfavorable conditions when it comes to attracting women – especially if you tin can't get into the VIP area…
"VIP area? Dan, is that really necessary?"
The annoying thing is that 90% of the cute models are in the VIP expanse. Meanwhile, at that place is a wiener party on the dance floor, because 80% of the 'guests' are men.
My bootcamp students and I didn't allow this terminate us. We took intendance of the remaining 20%.
Pro tip:
Flirting with the 'VIP women' from a distance is awesome! Very often, the distance between yous and the woman from the VIP lounge is very small.
Get her attention by imitating/dancing super stupid, pointing at her and pretending to yawn (as if she's dying of boredom and yous're having the time of your life).
Maintain centre contact with her, and wave her over. If she prefers to talk to you in the VIP expanse later, she can hands convince the doorman to allow you in.
One of my ii students was named Ben: A well-groomed guy in his early 30s, an academic, entrepreneur, and a true personal development junkie.
At first glance, he seems to be a man who tin stand up his ground and who could announced bonny to women – at least objectively.
Just, after a short fourth dimension, I noticed a peculiarity that crept into Ben when he was in the presence of women: He turned into 'Mr. Perfect Son-in-Police force'.
His beliefs was very unattractive to women and not at all sex-worthy.
At the beginning of the evening, Ben did something that almost every human I see does – a rookie error stemming from the fear of rejection…
When I chose a woman for Ben to approach, he didn't approach her straight.
Instead, he did this:
- He turned his head toward the adult female to secretly cheque her out from the corner of his eye.
- And then, he directed his whole trunk toward her and studied the situation for 3 – thirty seconds.
- Finally, he walked toward her.
- Every bit he made his way to her, he extended his attention to others uninvolved in the situation à people strolling through the club.
- When he arrived at the group she was in, he made a half-turn around the group to observe a kind of perfect 'bending to arroyo'.
- Arriving there, he hesitated for a moment and and so tapped her shoulder advisedly.
I knew exactly what he was thinking while he was making his stride-by-pace plan:
"Who's she here with? How pretty is she? Does she like it here? What do I talk to her about? What shall I say afterward? What will she say? How will I reply it? Will she decline me? Practise I look expert enough?"
Of course, now that he had so many thoughts, he no longer approached her spontaneously and he lacked cocky-conviction.
How could he go past the 'idea orchestra' roaring in his head?
Quite simply: By not hesitating and approaching her direct!
>> These 7 Tips Saved Me from Awkwardness on the Starting time Meeting
The surreptitious fundamental to spontaneity and fewer rejections
Do you see the parallels between my bootcamp student and the boy with the biscuit pants in Tenerife?
In both cases, the fear spread faster than they could act. They even allow their fear have complete control of their deportment.
Dare to have action; you lot're condom. Climb up the final stride and spring immediately.
Similiar: After spotting her, walk up to women immediately and talk to her. Afterwards, you'll feel ALIVE Similar NEVER Before!
Later on approaching more 10,000 women in the virtually diverse scenarios, I've never been punched – despite the fact that I sometimes talk about the weirdest topics.
Being afraid of rejection tin make you freeze if you don't know how to deal with it. It comes from the fright of failure…
It's the same paralyzing feeling as the boy in Tenerife who didn't make information technology onto the platform.
Smart men are more likely to suffer from this fearfulness because they tend to think more than others.
To elaborate on this signal, I'll share a powerful play a joke on with you lot.
I call this the 10% rule:
Every second you wait to arroyo a woman, you become ten% less attractive.
So, if I point out a woman for my bootcamp students and they wait longer than 10 seconds, they don't fifty-fifty have to try.
Their attractiveness has dropped to 0%, and it'south inappreciably possible for them to act spontaneously.
Enquiry and science back me up on this ane.
Then…
You see a cute woman?
Go for it!
Information technology's a race against fear.
>> v Steps to Apace Overcome Your Fearfulness of Women
Make sure that you don't let your negative thoughts and excuses paralyze you.
That too means:
- That you interrupt the conversation between her and her friend
- That you push button aside people who are in your way (in a friendly mode) to get to her faster
- That y'all go through her grouping of friends to talk to her directly
- That you maintain directly heart contact with her while you lot talk to her. You're in your own globe; everything else interests you lot exactly 0.0%
Don't await for the perfect moment. Talk to her. Trust your spontaneity. She can do 99% of the interaction. With the remaining 1%, you tin can still put a smile on her face by using ane of these pick-upwardly lines:
>> 47 Icebreakers To Smoothly Start Conversations with Any Daughter
Avant-garde tips to overcome fearfulness of rejection
Day 4 in Barcelona. Nosotros were on the route during the day – at a spot that was teeming with people.
Focus of the day: How to become a more bonny man by using your voice properly.
The intonation of your voice is one of the 3 main pillars that ensure that a adult female is literally hanging on your lips and is eager to stay in chat with you.
Unfortunately, I can't teach you the lessons that will alter your intonation from 'ordinary' to 'brilliant' through a written text. What nosotros worked on is creating a more masculine tone.
Ben suffered from something called 'Nice Guy Syndrome'. As a Prissy Guy, you behave far also kindly to others for the wrong reasons. At offset, when Ben suddenly displayed a much more masculine intonation, it sounded very artificial and inauthentic.
Because he tried out new things, he was rejected more than oft. Ben was frustrated considering the 24-hour interval before he had gotten ii numbers and had an instant date with a model and her friend.
When I took a closer look at what Ben was doing while approaching women, I realized something:
If you seduce women correctly, any rejection is just like a pair of pants that don't fit you properly.
"What are you talking about, Dan?"
Let me explain it to y'all.
Suppose you lot demand new pants. You take a bunch of pants into the locker room and try them on. Now, y'all get out of the locker room to become the professional stance of the salesgirl. The salesgirl looks at your new await and says, 'Haha, that doesn't fit you lot at all.' She's not looking for new pants for you either.
Okay, what kind of fucking service is this?
But do you really care?
No.
The salesgirl'due south remark refers to something You lot are trying on. And then, her opinion doesn't involvement you at all; the pants must fit you co-ordinate to YOUR feeling.
I'd like to go back to my line from before: 'If you seduce women correctly, any rejection is just like wearing pants that don't fit you right.' What I hateful is, you're always trying on new pants.
Some men clasp themselves into the same trousers a thousand times and expect them to fit like a glove at some signal.
A smart man does things differently. He finds the correct pants. He doesn't allow wrong trouser sizes terminate him, because he knows that he'll find one or the other that is perfectly comfortable for him.
Does it bother you lot that you too have to try on many unsuitable pants while searching for the right ones?
It's the aforementioned with seducing women: You lot're afraid of being rejected past the thing y'all're trying out…
This is as well the reason why you should never have feedback personally, whether it'southward from the salesperson or a woman yous have but spoken to.
The hush-hush is:
Express mirth at your failed effort, and keep looking for the right model.
Once yous reach a point where you're completely frustrated past your rejections, I have good news for yous:
- I allow yous to exist angry with your rejection
- I let you lot to hate rejection
- You want to bang your head confronting the wall? I'll let you to do that also – at least, it's not forbidden in most clubs…
Merely, after you lot blow off your steam, stick to these 2 simple rules:
- Dominion #ane: Smile
- Rule #2: Keep going
Retrieve of every adult female you arroyo as a saleswoman giving you lot feedback.
When y'all meet a new woman, do it with the following mentality: 'I'thousand trying something new hither,' or 'I'one thousand checking to see if nosotros're compatible'.
The paradox: Sometimes she gives yous feedback near your trousers – you may not yet be wearing the right model or size – and sometimes the woman is the pants themselves and simply doesn't fit you lot.
What the hell am I talking nigh?
Watch it.
There are two things that lead to a rejection:
- Yous're wearing the wrong size pants: The way you tried to seduce her wasn't quite right. You're not acting like an attractive, sexy man. Perhaps you tried also hard or your posture or intonation wasn't strong enough. You got a brushoff for your pants, aka, your unattractive behavior toward her. You lot're yet walking around in the wrong size. It's aught personal. You're still growing into your pants.
- She only wasn't the right pants for you: The color and the model looked great, but she doesn't 'fit' you. Yous behaved very attractive and sex worthy toward her, but she just doesn't fit you considering of her personality or values or because of her current personal situation. Think that pants can look beautiful, just that doesn't necessarily mean that they are right for you.
And, past the way, rejection number 10 doesn't feel any worse than rejection number 3.
Talk to your friends, club a beverage, dance, and exercise any y'all like…
…then start moving your anxiety once more toward a new adult female.
Yous tin can notwithstanding experience horrible; that'due south fine.
Your brain tin only process a sure amount of negativity. One rejection will make you feel bad, two might brand you feel even worse. The difference betwixt rejection number 3 and rejection number 10 is fifty-fifty smaller.
After a certain period, the number of rejections becomes emotionally irrelevant to your brain. If you then just go on, a powerful mechanism is activated:
You forget the rejections.
When you're rejected by a woman, you tin can all the same call back it the adjacent day. Later on xxx women, your brain starts to struggle to remember each of them distinctly.
The next morning, y'all may but remember i or 2 rejections.
The only thing y'all actually demand to larn is to proceed later on these starting time 2 rejections. And then, they'll have less and less influence on your beliefs.
The more than frequently you encounter a rejection, the more your fear of information technology disappears.
You reach a signal where your head thinks:
"I've seen this shit and then many times, I'm non going to get mad about it anymore"
Information technology becomes routine, merely like brushing your teeth. Are you lot still excited about brushing your teeth? At least for me, it's not a large deal anymore. I do it intuitively.
For me, information technology'southward the same when it comes to approaching women. That is why I'm successful.
If yous don't desire to put up with the 'stress', you shouldn't be surprised if you can't get to the forepart of your hamster bike, bro.
But if you dare, a whole new globe will open up upwardly for y'all.
A world where you take control over your life.
Every time you lot go a rejection and just keep going anyway, yous grow every bit a human being. You acquire to trust yourself and get what you want.
Apart from that, at that place are also some reasons why she might have rejected you that aren't even related to y'all:
- She had a bad childhood and is generally negative
- She's insecure
- She's a border-liner: Mentally unstable, which leads to negative and paradoxical interpersonal behavior
- Today is merely not her day
- She's just been approached by a human creepily
- She's in a relationship, and she's out with her beau
- She's shy
- She'southward very busy and doesn't want to exist disturbed
- She'south emotionally traumatized
- She's seriously ill and in pain
- She's depressed
- She's involved in other 'drama' and has no time for something new
- She has problems with men
- She'southward a lesbian
As y'all tin see, none of these things take anything to do with yous.
The funny thing is that after a few minutes, hours, or weeks, the side by side time you see, the chemistry may suddenly be right between y'all.
Women don't always wear the aforementioned trousers size…
So, go chop-chop to the adult female you want to speak to. Act faster than your fear. And if she doesn't like you, have her feedback and work with it.
Who knows, mayhap it was the pants y'all wore or maybe the new pants but didn't fit yous…
… and if the new one fits you, it may cease up lying on the floor of your bedroom that aforementioned night.
You lot got this!
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Your bro,
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and painful rejections
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Source: https://www.attractiongym.com/fear-of-rejection/
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